Story fuels another adoption
By Kelly Feser Eells

An anniversary is, by definition, "the yearly return of the date of an event; the celebration of that event." From the rented ballroom, six-piece band affair to the intimate second honeymoon; the day you buried the hatchet, made your peace, changed your life - there are as many different kinds of anniversaries as there are ways to celebrate them. And the best part is, there is no such thing as a bad anniversary.

Just ask Ojai's Karl and Donna Pope, whose anniversary of their daughter Lilli's adoption was made all the sweeter with news of another family's adoption - an adoption that, in large part, came about because of their "public" celebration of Lilli's arrival one-and-a-half years ago.

Donna Pope's grin is as wide as her 2-year-old daughter's as she recalls how, "as a direct result of the Jan. 25, 2002 article in the Ojai Valley News about our experience, another child was adopted from the same orphanage where we found Lilli."
Pope explains that longtime Ojai resident Ginger Wilson "called me right after seeing the article, because her daughter and son-in-law wanted to adopt but were having trouble with their own agency."

Wilson, a 2001 Living Treasure with a near-legendary generosity of spirit, put her daughter, Gracia, and son-in-law, Dave Hopcia, in touch with the Popes. "After speaking with them, and telling them about our experience, they switched to the agency we used in New York. They then went to Kazakhstan (known until 1991 as the Soviet Socialist Republic of Kazakh) and found a beautiful little boy they named Aiden."

Malootka Orphanage, where Lilli lived the first seven-and-a-half months of her life and Aiden the first four years of his, is typical of such facilities in the still-developing country: clean and efficiently run, but sorely understaffed.

There is only one nurse and/or caregiver for every 12 to 16 infants - even less for older children - making it virtually impossible to provide enough of the one-on-one stimulation growing children need. As a result, all of the children are developmentally delayed (about one month for every three months of life); although these delays start disappearing almost from the moment a child is adopted. By the time a child is 2 or 3, he or she will have caught up with her peers.

Lilli certainly seems to affirm this. "She's doing wonderfully," her proud mother beams. "Lilli amazes us every day with her sense of humor, intelligence and enthusiasm. She's physically advanced for her age, and though she's a little delayed in talking, she's right on the verge of it. Believe me, she has no trouble getting her message across!"

Aiden's story, however, is "really quite amazing."

Indeed it is. At four, Aiden had two things going against him: As an "older child," he received little, if any, personal attention, much less any one-on-one stimulation or basic health care.

(Medical care in Kazakhstan is well below both North American and Western European standards, and basic medical supplies, including disposable needles, anesthetics, and antibiotics, are in short supply.) Even more heartbreaking is the fact that, at four, he had little chance of ever being adopted in his native country, where even three-year-olds are considered "too old."

And though it was love at first sight for the Hopcias (Dave, Gracia, and daughter Abby), they were surprised at how readily he loved them back. As Gracia noted, "Aiden adjusted just wonderfullyonce he and the rest of us made it through the initial shock of that first month (January, 2003)! It's been amazing to watch his transformation from 'orphanage kid' to 'family kid.'"

She goes on to explain how, shortly after returning to the United States and their Colorado home, "we discovered that Aiden was so farsighted, 20/400, that he couldn't see two feet in front of him." Fitted with glasses, "he's been seeing a brand new world."

In addition, "we noticed that, as he tried to speak English, his words were mostly mispronounced and he was having trouble with a lot of basic sounds. That's when we discovered he had fluid build-up in his middle ear, both of them. One was so severe that his eardrum wasn't vibrating at all but if it bothered him, he never complained."

Aural tubes, to facilitate drainage, corrected the problem, "and now he can actually hear. The poor kid; not only was he in an orphanage for four years, but he couldn't see or hear very well, either."

Aiden, Gracia says, is "animated, happy, loving and chatty." And possibly the most amazing little boy in Colorado: "He's already gone down the slopes with us!"

Pope, meanwhile, has found something to celebrate each and every day. "I can't tell you how great it feels to Karl and me to know that Lilli has affected a life in such a dramatic way. So," she winks, "with the power of word of mouth and the press in mind, I leave you with this"

Janice Bergeron, director of Children at Heart Adoption Services, "is again bringing ten little four-year-old boys to the States from Karaganda, Kazakhstan."

The children arrive July 30 for "about a one-month stay," Bergeron writes. "They are all adorable, adoptable, and looking for host/adoptive families."

Anyone interested in this program is asked to call Janice at 518-664-5988, or email her at fth143@aol.com.

"I hope to make this summer," Bergeron adds, "as wonderful and enjoyable as possible for 10 lucky little boys."

© 2003 The Ojai Valley News

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